Restaurant follies

This story pretty plays itself out every time that you go to a restaurant here. “Good evening maaam” (pronounced much like mom). We’re taken to a table. Someone comes over, tells us their American chosen name. Last night our waiter was Mikey Mouse. At least the waiter says it and laughs at himself. “Drink maan, drink baby (to the girls)?” Larry always orders an iced tea – no lemon no sugar, he repeats it and asks them to repeat it. It’s almost comical. The drinks come. They say the names of each drink to be sure it is what we ordered. “Iced tea no lemon, no sugar.” This is said as if they can’t see the tray of drinks because the iced tea has lemons on the side of the glass and there is a small tea cup of simple sryup to put into the tea. It’s hard not to laugh at this. I swear it happens almost every time. Fast forward to the middle of eating our dinner. The waiter stops by and says “Coffee/tea (always said as if it is one word)?” No thank you. We’re done eating now. Wwe wait about 10 minutes hoping that the waiter will come by. We wait another 10 mins. We’re getting antsy to go. Finally Larry has to get up and find the waiter and ask for your check. This is very customary here. You will NEVER get your check unless you ask for it. They won’t ever ask you if you are ready for our check.

Variations on dinner follies:

• Larry came straight from the office and met us for dinner. It ended up taking him over 20 mins to find a parking space. I told the waiter when we got there that we would order drinks now and wait to order our food once my husband arrived. During that 20 mins, the waiter came by 3 times and another waitress came by twice... “Are you SURE that you don’t want to order now.” “No, not now, when my husband gets here.” The place is empty mind you so it’s not like they need to get people in and out in a hurry. Then the exact opposite happens when you want your check. You almost have to go find them and tell them that you want your check because they aren’t going to come by your table.
• I ask what comes with the chicken. I was told brocoli and mashed potatos. When I get my meal the veggies are completely different but there IS one piece of brocoli. I ask the guy... I thought this came with brocoli. He says well there is the brocoli. I’m not too happy and say I would like some brocoli. When we get the check I am charged for the extra brocoli. After all I did ask for it. Sigh.
• You ask for a take way box (“to go” is called take away here). You tell the waitress exactly what you want as take away. When you get home you look in the box – just for kicks and giggles of course - it’s never what you asked for.