Rules from the hood
- Driving at night with your headlights turned ON is entirely optional. Turn signals aren’t ever needed either.
- When at a red light it’s required to beep at the person in front of you about 0.5 seconds after the light turns green.
- “Same same” explains a lot.
- When you don’t know the answer it’s best to say “It is no problem.”
- When a service company tells you “inshala” that means they have no freaking idea when they will get your problem fixed.
- Oh and “It is no problem” means, in fact, there is a big problem.
- Since there are no side walks, cross walks or walking bridges, it’s ok to play a human game of Frogger across a 10 line highway.
- Learning patience is a must, otherwise you might find yourself deported.
- There is absolutely no PDA. But it is ok for 2 grown men to hold hands.
- Directions to a location always include at least 4 U-turns. And the directions to a location are never the same as leaving.
- Sticking bare wires from a power tool into a power outlet is entirely normal for a worker who comes to fix something in your house.
- Maps and GPS devices are pretty much useless because the roads change daily
- When splitting a bill between 2 credit cards, just say “half-half”. And of course, if the group is splitting the bill 3 ways, you say, “half-half-half”
- Mamsir and coffeetea are 1 word phrases
- Where are you from and how long have you been here are the first 2 questions that you ask someone that you meet. The third is likely how long are you planning to stay?
- If you miss your exit, it’s ok to back up on the highway. After all you’d have to go way out of your way and make several U-turns to fix your mistake.
- Mall car parks are designed by people who don’t drive.
- It’s important to look like a super model when you pick your kids up from school.
